You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
