we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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