you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
