She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
