you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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