I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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