belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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