can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
