She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize