hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
