Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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