Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
