Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
