when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
