I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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