just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
