if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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