oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
