I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
