My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
