I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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