question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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