he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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