He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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