The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
