is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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