i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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