the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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