capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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