Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Say something about gay babies.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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