Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
