can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
