Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize