I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
