I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
