Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
