We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
