i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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