The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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