I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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