it wasn't lemon gatorade
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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