I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
