adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
