well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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