Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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