i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
