hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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