worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
