Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
