we made out on top of his cat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
