do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
