So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize