We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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