honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize