He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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