I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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