You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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