Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
