Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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