Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
