On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
