Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
