I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
