Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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