garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize