what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
