she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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