I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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