just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
